As the time gets closer to my due date I’ve sensed P getting more anxious. She’s always been excited, eager and thrilled to have a sibling but the reality of it all is starting to hit.
Last week we did the sibling tour at the hospital. It was amazing to watch her take in all the information when watching the video. We got to see a newborn through the window of the nursery and she was very excited. P said “that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen”. The process was definitely a great step towards her knowing what to expect when I go into labor
P has said some very interesting things in the last few weeks. I have made the mistake of asking “are you excited for your baby sister”. It dawned on me that I was putting the emotion into her mind instead of letting her say what she is feeling. So, I asked her “how do you feel about your baby sister coming?”. She replied “I just don’t know. I’m excited but I’ve never had a baby before so I just don’t know.” I thought her reply was so insightful. I admitted to her that I had never thought of her perspective until then. I was seeing it from our eyes, Dave’s and mine, and we’ve had a baby before. I completely forgot she had not been through the experience. Her concern almost seemed like the worry of a first time parent. It was amazing.
Another time I asked P if she had any worries or concerns about having a sister. She said “I’m worried I’m going to lose all the attention.”. Again, I’m blown away by her ability to articulate her feelings so clearly. I told her that she might not get as much attention as she gets now. However, she will always have my attention when she needs it. I asked her to remind me when she needs me and to always feel free to say “mom I need your attention”. It calmed her down.
Every morning when we wake up I tell her she will always be my first born and that is a special place in my heart. I remind her that she is the one who made me a mother and Dave a father. I hug her and kiss her and tell her she is very special to me and always will be. There is no one else in the world like her. She is my P. I tell her this every day. I can tell it’s having a positive effect. She beams when I tell her these special words. Her anxiety seems to be less about her role and more about what is taking so darn long. I’m feeling almost as anxious as she is. We have four weeks to go. I wish it was tomorrow, but I do want baby G to incubate as long as possible for her well-being.
I now have non-stress tests (NST) to do twice a week at the hospital. It’s worked out that one of them I can schedule while she’s at school but the second always seems to be in the afternoons so I have to bring her with me. They take about an hour and so far P has been very patient. I bring the ipad and snacks with me to make the experience a little more interesting for her. I’m glad she is getting the opportunity to come with me because she is becoming familiarized with the hospital, nurses and rules. And the nurses are also getting to know her. They’ve been very kind and helpful and always compliment her on her patience and help. It’s been a great experience all around so far.