I was a late comer to Facebook. I figured I was already in contact with the people I still wanted as friends. I didn’t want to go back to certain periods of my life. Then one day as I was walking past the baseball field at Pierce College I yearned for my athlete friends from junior tennis, college and the pro tour. I signed up for a Facebook account that very night.
Today, I met up with three of my college tennis friends. We reconnected on Facebook and have stayed in touch throughout the past year or so. All four of us were able to have our kids looked after…a feat in itself. We had lunch and coffee and chatted together for four hours! Uninterrupted, adult conversation is such a sacred thing as a mother. This time with my life long friends was healing. It was better than therapy.
I admire and have come to love these women. I say “come to” love because one of them, Nicole (far right), was my dreaded opponent during college. We played for rival PAC-10 teams. Our matches were long and intense. I knew every time I set foot on the court with Nic I wasn’t getting off for a good three hours. I never thought the day would come when I looked forward to seeing her…..today it came.
Keirsten (2nd from left) and I became friends when we played on the pro tour. We knew each other through college but it wasn’t until we played our first pro tournament in the Bahamas that we really met….in the airport bathroom of all places. We traveled together to a few tournaments in Central America and made it through unscathed only to play in Texas and get food poisoning there. You really bond with someone when your both sick in a bathroom.
Erica (far left) and I became friends through Keirsten on Facebook. She played at Berkley like the other two women. We have come to find we have a lot in common and our husbands and daughters like to play together. When you grow up and have a family, picking friends is not a solo act anymore. Friends now come with a committee and are decided by committee. So, it’s very special when you find a new friend as an adult.
My bond with these women started on the tennis court and it continues today into motherhood. We seem to have the same ideas of what we expect of our children and how we would like them to develop. Most of these expectations come from our upbringing in tennis. I find it very interesting that despite geographical, economical and social differences in our childhood we have very similar ideas of what it means to be a good parent today. Our only common denominator is sports.
Our conversation today was about real topics: how to have a better marriage, raising children with good self-esteem, divorce, affairs, miscarriages, mother-in-laws, unsupportive family members, incredibly supportive family members and how motherhood strips you of superficial things like matching your bra and underwear ALL the time. That’s what I’ve always loved about strong athletic women; we’re always willing to talk about real issues and be real women. We have enough self-confidence to know that we don’t have to live or be “the perfect life”. It is in everyone’s real life experiences and struggles that I find strength because I know if they can make it through stuff so can I. We’re built of the same fiber and taught to endure and conquer.
I hope and pray that P will become an athlete and develop friendships like these.
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