I have hopes and dreams of the kind of woman I’d love P to be. I would love for her to be strong yet feminine. Confident yet humble. Polished yet able to mingle with anyone of any social status. I’ve been thinking of how I can develop these and other traits in her. The more I think, the more I realize it all comes back to the woman I see when I look in the mirror….me.
I am the woman P emulates, even today. I am the woman she sees 24hrs a day. I am the woman she will most closely resemble, whether she means to or not. I am in many ways my mother and there are things I wish I could do different.
I must work on me if I want to see P blossom into the beautiful woman I envision. This is hard. It’s really hard to do on little sleep. It’s hard to be graceful and patient when asking a toddler to do something 15 times. Yet it is at these very times that she will see who I really am. I want P to be better than me. I will work on myself. I will be the change I wish to see in her.